Can't We All Just Get Along?
by Margaret Meloni
No, we cannot all get along all of the time. It is unrealistic to think that all team members will absolutely agree with you or with each other all of the time. If every time you are together, there is never any disagreement, look out—you have problems. Sure, maybe the first time you meet you are on your best behavior. But if this persists, perhaps you have a tendency toward getting along. This means you value being agreeable over other traits. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being accommodating. Unless it is prohibiting you or the team from having real synergy, taking responsibility and meeting deadlines.
How can getting along get in the way of teamwork? If a team member agrees to all requests in order to keep the peace, they will soon find themselves over allocated. Imagine this scenario, your technical lead agrees to assignments from three of your customer groups, all due on the same day. It is probable that not all of these deadlines will be met.
Some team members will exhibit passive-aggressive behavior. They will agree with you to your face, but then walk away and purposefully disregard the entire conversation. When other team members boss them around, they quickly submit.
If you are addicted to getting along or you know someone who is, there is help.
- Confirm and reconfirm commitments.
- If you are asking them for their time and energy, ask about their current to-do list.
- Do not be too aggressive when you speak to them.
- Encourage them to speak up and share their true opinions.
- Let them see you disagree with others, and then let them see the disagreement end peaceably.
By the way if you are the one who likes to get along, ask yourself, 'Will agreeing now cause me more issues later?' If the answer is yes, speak up NOW.
Want to use this article in your eZine or web site? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: A coach for Information Technology professionals, Margaret Meloni publishes the ‘The Positive Punch’ eZine each month. Contact Margaret at
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More Blog Posts:
Teaching Others How to Treat You
An Anonymous Letter from a Co-Worker
It's OK To Enjoy Your Team
Featured Blogger Margaret Meloni
Margaret Meloni heads Meloni Coaching Solutions, which helps Information Technology professionals create career strategies that bring them success and enhance their work experiences. Margaret has more than 18 years experience in Information Technology. During this time Margaret has performed in multiple roles including: senior manager; project management expert; business analyst and programmer analyst. She holds a B.S. in Business Administration and an M.B.A. from California State University, Long Beach. She is also a certified Project Management Professional (PMP) through the Project Management Institute and an instructor at the University of California in Irvine and the University of California in Los Angeles. A dynamic speaker who combines inspiration, common sense and a dash of humor; Margaret has spoken at technology conferences and events hosted by the Association of Information Technology Professionals; The Project Management Institute and The International Institute of Business Analysis.
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