You may have heard the phrase, don’t kill the messenger. It means if someone has the unfortunate task of delivering bad news; don’t take it out on them. This phrase is frequently attributed to the ancient Greek and then later Roman custom of employing messengers to carry news throughout the empire. The law decreed that these messengers should be allowed to pass unharmed as they carried out their duty.
How about a new phrase? Don’t kill the message. This applies when you receive information from someone who you may not like or respect. When someone you do not like tells you something, do you listen? Do you really pay attention to the message? Some of the best information we can receive about how we are perceived may come from sources we do not always admire.
It is difficult to separate the individual from the message. It is also so critical for our development. If you can learn to hear what someone is saying and to really listen to them and to ask them questions even though that person drives you nuts, well that is a gift. I mean a gift on two levels; a true talent and a gift you are allowing yourself to receive. Once you move past your feelings about them, you can open your mind to the message.
Try to understand the message, no matter who plays messenger. Then if the content of the message is not of value to you, go ahead, discard it. But pay attention and don’t kill the message.
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