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Sticks and Stones
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| Written by Margaret Meloni |
Yesterday I read an article that reminded me of a childhood saying or chant, ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me.’ Or some people would say ‘words can never hurt me’. From a physical perspective this is certainly true. But when people look back on a professional experience that was less than positive, it is usually about how they were treated. And how they were treated ties directly to verbal or non-verbal communications.
The article I read was about a manager who was trying to deliver positive news to an employee. Even though the manager knew it was good news and was happy to deliver the news, the employee was less than excited. How could this happen?
The manager delivering the news was using negative phrasing. Something like this:
“I do not care where you do your job.”
“I do not care when you do your job.”
“I only care that you get your work done.”
This was meant to be a positive announcement about telecommuting and flexible hours. Unfortunately all of the great news was lost in all of the “I do not care”.
If the manager in question had chosen his or her words more carefully, this entire encounter could have been so different and it could have been a positive and rewarding experience for both participants. If the message was delivered like this:
“Because I know that I can trust you to complete your work in a timely and
professional manner and because I know that you have expressed an interest in telecommuting and flexible hours, I would like you to know that starting next week…..”
See the difference?
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